Don’t Define Yourself By What You’re Not

This is another article from Thought Catalog by Brianna Wiest.

I find it fascinating that people are usually described, initially at least, by a brief summary of their physical attributes and anything else that is outwardly recognizable. The first things we tend to first reach for when explaining someone are their hair color, clothing style, height, weight, job, or other successes. Even when we note that so-and-so is a really great person, that fact usually doesn’t stand alone. It’s sandwiched between other physical descriptors.

But that would make sense, right? Those are the obvious, most easily definable and recognizable things in a person. When we try to paint a picture of someone, we want to use what will best facilitate a visual. I get that. But the problem is that as much as we define other people within those means, I think we can sometimes begin to think of ourselves as being only the summation of what others can perceive.

You are not your hair color. You are not your choice of clothing. You’re not your height, weight or job or degree of education. More importantly, you’re not your mistakes. You’re not defined by the things that make you human, otherwise known to some as “flaws.” The physical are just descriptors that make you easier to identify by others, they don’t define who you are.

You are whatever touches your soul more deeply than anything. You are who you love. You are the music that makes you cry. You are the daydreams your mind trails off to. You are your favorite food. You are your deepest desires. You are what you want to bring to the world. You are the silly jokes that make you laugh. You are how you treat other people, especially people who don’t and can’t do anything for you in return. You are anything and everything that touches you and changes you from your core.

I’ve noticed that people tend to fall into two categories in this respect, and I usually see it when I’m having a conversation with someone. There are those who focus on what they’re saying, and those who focus on how they appear while saying it. As a disclaimer, it’s not to say that everybody in the world falls into either category, we’re all too diverse for such simple generalizations, so I apologize for that. Also, it’s not a matter of seeing that someone is using an abnormally astute vocabulary and is dressed well that would determine whether or not they are trying to seem intelligent and put-together.

It’s that when someone is focused on what they’re saying, it’s apparent that they feel they have something to bring to the table. Their faces express emotion congruent to what they are saying. It’s clear that they are, for the majority of the time, focusing on just what they are saying, not how they are being received by others. The conversation moves beyond the superficial, and there is truly thought behind their words. They are not speaking just for the sake of appearing one way or another or impressing anyone. They are speaking from their depths, and they realize that they aren’t what the world will take them to be.

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This was such a nice article. I like how the writer describe people speaking from their despair and realizing that physical appearance are just picture that help you to recognize by others, but it doesn’t define who you are. I feel like while reading it, also deals with the awareness that can lead to so many self-esteem issues. It is best just to know you who are and what your value and loving and accepting yourself can come so much easier.

I believe that everyone’s special in their own way. Everyone is unique and special; even if you don't think you are. Everyone has a unique physical structure and a mind. Just because you’re a little different doesn’t mean you’re not special. I learned that there are people who are different from others that want acceptance. That I shouldn’t accept them just because I feel pity for them but that I should accept them for who they are. Without variations in the world the world is boring. Everything is dull and everything would look the same. This I believe. There is something deeper inside of you, beyond your surface appearance. Think beyond what you can see.

Love is when...

Reblogged from Thought Catalog. I just enjoyed reading this. This is so well-written! I personally love the use of extreme almost grotesque images to capture the intensity of raw love. It is the same as how I feel about love. That even when I'm grumpy and frumpy and down, all I want is to be with him. But I also don't because I don't want him to see me sad. And yet, he is what makes me better."I hate everything as much as I love you." Great line in a great thing.

Love is when... by Kat George

I guess love is when I’m super cranky because I’ve got my period, and I’m sitting on the bed when you get home from work and even though I’m so relieved to see you, I scowl at you and complain that my belly hurts. I won’t cuddle you when you come and sit on the edge of the bed, even though all I really want to do is crawl inside you and wear your skin as a coat and your guts as a scarf, because love is gross and creepy like that. I have my period and my tummy hurts and I love you so much I want to slap you in the face.

I’ll grunt at you instead of answering your questions and I’ll be relieved when you leave the room and shut the door behind you, because I love you so much, and you should never have to receive me when I’m like this. When I’m like this I should be shackled to a wall and fed gruel that’s been slopped on the ground in front of me, and my hands should be tied behind my back so that I have to lap it up from the dirty floor with my tongue.

I guess love is when you come back, 15 minutes later, and you’ve been down to the off license and bought me my favorite biscuits, you know, the Weston’s Digestives with the chocolate on one side, even though it’s cold in the street and we’re poor and have no money to pay our rent. The way you come back to me, with the packet of biscuits in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, the way you come so silently and put these things next to me, the way you walk across the room without even displacing the air you’re moving through, makes me ashamed that you have to love someone that can be such a horrible little troll.

But still, I love you so much I am too embarrassed to apologise, and I continue to sit there with my arms crossed and my bottom lip out. I won’t even turn my head to face you, but I can see the biscuits laying on the bed between us, as you take up your position next to me, leaning against the brick wall because I’ve got all the pillows and I’m too stubborn and surly to take one. I think I love you more as we sit there, me obstinate and you so calm, a ringmaster waltzing boldly into a lion’s den.

And then without warning, my eyes lap with waves and I’m ready to look at you and say I’m sorry for being such a brat, it’s just that I feel so horrible, and I hate it here sometimes, in this tiny mouse infested apartment, their little droppings sometimes between the sheets of our mattress that lives on the floor. I hate that my tummy hurts, I hate that we don’t have a living room in our flat, that we can’t afford to go to a restaurant. I hate everything as much as I love you.

So you squeeze my hand and you say, I know, and you say we can just watch Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend and you’ll bitch about all the contestants with me and even pretend like you care. I start to cry because you are the best, and I tell you I didn’t mean it, that I love our tiny mouse infested apartment, I love it here, I love it here with you and did I mention that I love you? You say we’re going to miss the start of the program and you smile at me.

We watch Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend and you have an opinion on everything, and we complain about all the contestants like they’re friends we dislike and we’re driving back from a dinner party we just had with them, and we eat the whole packet of biscuits and drink tea until my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore and we’re holding hands. When the show is over, we go to the bathroom together and brush our teeth standing side by side in front of the mirror, like we do every night since we moved here. You poke me with the frothy tip of your brush, I pretend like I think it’s gross because I know you think the face I pull when I do that is cute, and then we have an argument about whether or not we can cross swords and you swear if I sit on the toilet you can aim your wee so it gets right between my legs and none will go on me. And like every night before, and every night after, we don’t cross swords.

Before we go to bed you lay on your tummy with your shirt off and I lay on your back squeezing your blackheads, and we talk about what happened today at work. So I guess love is when we eventually lay together in the darkness, and have our ten minutes of cuddles, then both roll to our own side of the bed because neither of us can sleep while cuddling unless we’re drunk or sad and right now we’re sober and happy. You touch your big toe against mine under the sheets and we fall asleep just like this; far enough apart to fall into dreams, but pressing together regardless.

The Kind Of Girl I Am

Reblogged this article from Thought Catalog by Chelsea Fagan

I hear a lot of sentences that begin or end with some variation of "I'm not that kind of girl." There seems to always be two camps of women, one who does this horrible thing that we're all collectively supposed to be embarrassed of, and one who has far too much dignity and self-respect to engage in it. It's hard not to feel an  expectation of classifying yourself in a way as to put other women down, or to recognize that there are certain behaviors within us that we are supposed to be constantly suppressing. But you see, I am often afraid, when I hear these sweeping generalizations about the humiliating kind of girl all of these people are absolutely not, that I may be her myself. I am more afraid, it should be said, that I don't want to change.

Because I am the kind of girl who will call you too much -- who will fall neatly under the labels of "crazy" or "needy" because her emotions tend to spill out all at once, and in full color. I find myself unable to sit on my hands when it comes to  waiting for the phone to ring, to allowing someone I am over the moon about to take their time and call me when they're ready. When I am infatuated with you, all sense of basic social propriety flies out the window and my entire life is dependent on the sweet, tinny ringing of a cellphone. I will hound your message box and immediately regret every text I send, wishing that I were the kind of person who could exhibit the coy, sexy restraint. I wish playing "hard to get" were a game that didn't elude me completely, that I could engage in a little cat-and-mouse, that I could obfuscate my true feeling just long enough to make you wonder if I actually need you. With me, there is never a doubt of "need." I always have my hands outstretched. 

I am the kind of girl who will love you more loudly than you love her and not know how to make it seem like she doesn't. I am the kind of girl who will consistently paint outside the lines and still hope that you'll be proud of her when she knows you the finished product. I have a heart which, beyond being worn on my sleeve, tends to beat loudly enough to deafen anyone trying to listen to me speak. Any half-hearted murmurs of "I'm fine" or "It's okay" will be drowned out by the thud of what are clearly my real feelings on the subject. There will always be an urgency and difficulty in my love, because I am constantly trying to catch up with myself.

I am the kind of girl who will fight sometimes for no reason, who will create arguments out of thin air because she is frustrated and sometimes takes it out on the people who deserve it least but will stand for it most. I will know that what I am doing is wrong in the moment -- that a label of "psycho" being flung at me will be as stinging as it is accurate -- but be unable to stop myself. I will see in this a kind of pinch to remind yourself that you are alive, that you are fresh, that you are worth fighting for -- even if it's selfish and juvenile. I love things at top volume, at their most difficult, at their most needlessly complex.

I am the kind of girl who talks too loudly and curses too often and makes a habit of inserting her foot as far into her mouth as her leg can bend. I know that there is a delicate sort of grace that I should be striving for, an Audrey Hepburn-esque ability to be at once charmingly funny and undoubtedly feminine, but I will constantly strive for the former in complete negligence of the latter. Though I can see myself almost in an out-of-body experience, realize that I am being "too much" and "too intense" at yet another social gathering because I know no other way to be, there will always be a small voice in my head which encourages me to tell the dirty joke, to make the overly-frank comment, and to sacrifice the seen-and-not-heard beauty that we are raised to admire in a woman.

I often hear other women talk proudly of the fact that they are not like me. They are not "crazy", they are not "needy", they are not "loud", they are not "bitchy". And though I do not begrudge them their choice to be a different human being than I am, I wish that their premium and their beauty didn't have to come at the expense of other women. I wish that we were free enough to be individuals, that there didn't have to be two categories to fit into, and that the actions of one of us didn't have to be so immediately reflective of us all. Maybe there is something wrong with being all of these things -- notably all of these things at once -- but I have never known how to be anyone else. And I would rather be too much of me than just barely enough of a proper lady.

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I appreciate the points made in this article and I agree with some. I just love this post. This makes every girl feels normal. I really like this because although I am not this kind of girl --- I am my OWN kind of girl -- a couple of these paragraphs really speak to me. It's actually great that you're being honest about yourself. And I think many - including me, aren't like that. We say sometimes we're not THAT kind, but we actually are. We try to control out feelings and behavior, but we lose sometimes. We just aren't brave enough to admit that we're just like that. 

I admire people who are 100% themselves and uninhibited about being authentic to their feelings, of loving fully and being heard. I strongly believe that if you are with someone who cannot understand or accept all of YOU, they DON'T deserve you. No one should be ashamed of how they feel of how they love. 

How to be Alone?

NOTE: This is not mine. This is written by Tanya Davis. I love it so much so I'm sharing it. Hope you'll get inspired too like me! :D

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If you are first lonely, be patient.

If you've not been alone much, or when you were, you weren't okay with it, then just wait. You'll find it's fine to be alone once you're embracing it.

We can start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library, where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the book; you're not supposed to talk much anyway so it's safe there.

There is also the gym, if you're shy, you can hang out with yourself and mirrors, you can put headphones in. Then there's public transportation, because we all gotta go to places. And there's prayer and mediation, no one will think less if your hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously avoided based on your avoid being alone principles.

The lunch counter, where you will be surrounded by "chow downers", employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town, and they, like you, will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with "eat, lunch and run", take yourself out for dinner; a restaurant with linen and silverware. You're no less an intriguing a person when you are eating solo dessert and cleaning the whip cream from the dish with your finger. In fact, some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies where it's dark and soothing, alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community. 

And then take yourself out dancing, to a club where no one knows you, stand on the outside of the floor until the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one's watching because they're probably not. And if they are, assume it is with best human intentions. The way bodies move genuinely to beats, is after-all, gorgeous and affecting. Dance until you're sweating. And beads of perspiration remind you of life's best things. Down your back, like a book of blessings. 

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you. Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets, they are always statues to talk to, and benches made for sitting gives strangers a shared existence if only for a minute, and these moments can be so uplifting and the conversation you get in by sitting alone on benches, might of never happened had you not been there for yourself. 

Society is afraid of alone though. Like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements. Like people must have problems if after awhile nobody is dating them.

But lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless, and lonely is healing if you make it.

You can stand swathed by groups and mobs or hands with your partner, look both further and farther in the endless quest for company.

But no one is in your head. And by the time you translate your thoughts an essence of them maybe lost or perhaps it is just kept. Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself, perhaps all those "sappy slogans" from pre-school over to high school groaning, we're tokens for holding the lonely at bay.

Cause if you're happy in your head, then solitude is blessed, and alone is okay.

It's okay if no one believes like you, all experiences unique, no one has the same synapses, can't think like you, for this be relived, keeps things interesting, life's magic things in reach, and it doesn't mean you aren't connected, and the community is not present, just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it. 

Take silence and respect it.

If you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it, if your family doesn't get you or a religious sect is not meant for you, don't obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded if you need it. If your heart is bleeding, make the best of it. There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

**Here's the video version of the poem. Please give yourself the 4-minute gift of watching this. :D**

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Such a beautiful poem! Actually, I saw that a friend posted the video the other day on Facebook. I hit play in the hopes it might be interesting, but not thinking too much into it. Of course this film---this poem/poetry made visible and oh soo soothing and inspiring. I love this style of poetry, balance and simple! I've seen a few clips like this before but loved the theme and how she took something so common and more often than not despised by our culture like being alone, having the ME-time, and turned it into something that sounds kind of exciting. Adventurous even. That's the way these things work, right? They all come in good timing, or in bad. It all happens for a reason. I hope you enjoy it and it inspires you to think a little differently about how you write and communicate.

Date a Boy who Travels

Since this week is almost over! As the result of an overwhelming week, I urged each of you do something that you love! You may have read, "Date a Girl who Reads" by Rosemarie Urquico, so I thought I'd share you this article with same, same, but different in some level. Article is not mine! Just see this article while browsing the net, too interesting not to share. If you ever find yourself on this space, do know that this piece is just wonderful. Enjoy!!

DATE A BOY WHO TRAVELS 

Date a boy who travels. Date a boy who treasures experiences over toys, a hand-woven bracelet over a Rolex. Date the boy who scoffs when he hears the words, "vacation", "all-inclusive", or "resort". Date a boy who travels because he's not blinded by a single goal but enlivened by many.

You might find him in an airport or at a bookstore browsing the travel guides -- although he "only uses them for reference."

You'll know it's him because when you peek at his computer screen, his background will be a scenic splendor of rolling hills, mountains, or prayer flags. His Facebook friend count will be over-the-roof, and his wall will be plastered with broken English "miss you" of friends he met along the way. When he travels, he makes lifelong friends in an hour. And although contact with these friends is sporadic and may be far-between, his bonds are unmessable and if he wanted, he could couch surf the world.....again.

Buy him a beer, maybe the same brand that he wears on the singlet under his plaid shirt, unable to truly let go. Once a traveler gets home, people rarely listen to their stories. So listen to him. Allow him to paint a picture that brings you into his world. He might talk fast and miss small details because he's too excited to be heard. Bask in his enthusiasm. Want it for yourself.

He'll squeak like an excited toddler when his latest issue of National Geographic arrives in the mail. Then he'll grow quiet, engrossed, until he finishes his analysis of every photo, every adventure. In his mind, he'll insert himself in these pictures. He'll pass the issue on to you and grill you about your dreams and competitively ask about the craziest things you've ever done. Tell him. And know that he'll probably win. And if by chance you win, know that his next lot in life will be to out do you. But then he'll say, "Maybe we can do it together."

Date the boy who talks of distant places and whose hands have explored the stone relics of ancient civilizations and whose mind has imagined those hands carving, chiseling, painting the wonders of the world. And when he talks, it's as if he's reliving it with you. You can almost hear his heart racing. You can almost feel the adrenaline ramped up by the moment. You feel it passing through his synapsis, a feast to his eyes entering through those tiny oracles of experiences that we call pupils, digesting rapidly through his veins, manifesting into his nervous system, transforming and altering his worldview like a reverse trauma and finally passing, but forever changing the colors of his sight. You will want this too.

Date a boy who's lived out of a backpack he lives happily with less. A boy who's travelled has seen poverty and dined with those who live in small shanty's with no running water, and yet welcome strangers with greater hospitality than the rich. And because he's seen this, he's seen how a life without luxury can mean a life fueled by relationships and family, rather than a life that fuels fancy cars and ego. He's experienced different ways of being, respects alternative religions and he looks at the world with the eyes of a five-year-old, curious and hungry. Your dad will be happy too because he's good with money and knows how to budget.

This boy relishes home; the comfort of duvet, the safety stirred in a mom-cooked meal, the easy conversation of childhood friends, and the immaculate glory of the flush-toilet. Although fiercely independent, he has had time to reflect on himself and his relationships. Despite his wanderlust, he knows and appreciates his ties to home. He has had a chance to miss and be missed. Because of this, he also knows a thing or two about goodbyes. He knows the overwhelming uncertainty of leaving the comforts of home, the indefinite see-you-laters at the departure gates, and yet he fearlessly goes into the unknown because he knows the feeling of return. And that the I've-missed-you-hug is the best type of hug in the whole world. He also knows that goodbyes are just prolonged see-you-laters and that 'hello' is only as far away as the nearest internet cafe.

Don't hold onto this boy. Let this boy go and go with him. If you haven't travelled, he will open your eyes to a world beyond the news and popular deception. He will open your dreams to possibility and reality. He will calm your nerves when you're about to miss a flight or when your rental blows a flat, because he knows the journey is the adventure. He will make light of the unsavory noises you make when you - and you will - get food poisoning. He will make you laugh through the discomfort all while dabbing your forehead with a cold cloth and nursing you with a bottled water. He will make you feel like you're home.

When you see something beautiful, he will hold your hand in silence ,in the history of where his feet stand, and the fact that you're with him.

He will live in every moment with you, because this is how he lives his life. He understands that happiness is no more than a string of moments that displaces neutrality, and he is determined to tie as many of the strings together as he can. He also understands your need to live for yourself and that you have a bucket list of your own. Understand his. Understand that your goals may at some points differs, but that independence is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship when it's mutually respected. You may lose him for a bit, but he will always come home bearing a new story and a souvenir he picked up because it reminded him of you, like it was made for you and because he missed you. You might be compelled to do the same. Make sure that independence is on your bucket list, and make sure it's checked. Independence will keep your relationship fresh and exciting, and when you're together again it will forge a bond of unbreakable trust. 

He'll propose when you've breached your comfort-zone, whether it be a fear like skydiving or swimming with sharks, or sitting next to the smelly person on an overcrowded bus. It won't be with a diamond ring, but with a token from a native culture or inspired by nature, like the penguin and the pebble.

You will get married somewhere unassumed, surrounded by a select few, in a moment constructed to celebrate venturing into the unknown together again. Marry the boy who's travelled and together you will make the whole world your home. Your honeymoon will not be forgotten to a buffet dinner and all-you-can -drink beach bars, but will be remembered in the triumphant photographs at the top of Kilimanjaro and memorialized in the rewarding ache of muscles at the end of a long days hike.

When you're ready, you will have children that have the same names of the characters you met on your journeys, the foreign names of people who dug a special place in your heart if only for a few days. Perhaps you will live in another country, and your children will learn of language and customs that open their minds from the very start, leaving no room for prejudice. He will introduced them to the life of Hemingway, the journey of Santiago, and empower them to live even bigger than both of you.

Marry a boy who travels and he'll teach your children the beauty of a single stone, the history of the Incas and he will instill in them the bravery of possibility. He will explain to them that masking opportunity, there is fear. He will teach them to concur it. 

And when you're old, you'll sit with your grandchildren pouring over your photo albums and chest of worldly treasures, while they too insert themselves into your photographs, sparked by the beauty of the world and inspired by your life in it. 

Find a boy who travels because you deserve a life of adventure and possibility. You deserve to live light and embrace simplicity. You deserve to look at life through the eyes of youth and with your arms wide open. Because this is where you will find joy. And better, you will find joy together. And if you can't find him, travel. Go. Embrace it. Explore the world for yourself because dreams are the stuff reality is made from.

Source: Originally published here: wherearemyheels.com

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Date a boy who travels? But, really? You might not be impressed by casual clothes and backpack he always carry along. He might not have fancy, flashy cars bring you around, but behind the earnest, glowing smile and twinkling eyes, lies a curious mind that will want you to know. And if you find a GIRL or GUY who travels...I think she'll/he'll turn your world right side up. Holler if you've found your boy or girl! Lucky you! :) This is such a wonderful, beautiful written post. By reading this article it made people realize how lucky it is to travel the world. We travel because we love. We love this world. We love or friends. And we love ourselves enough to keep moving and experiencing all this planet has to offer. Sooo, looking forward to bumping into you one day, somewhere on a summery place of the globe! (or vice versa)

To the Twentysomething who wants to change the world

>> Good reads!! Inspiring article to share...:)
>>Take a minute and let yourself 'go-there'. Close your eyes and think about what would your dream look like if you could make it a reality. DARE TO BELIEVE, IT IS POSSIBLE!! :))

Dear Fresh Grad, 

I think I saw you yesterday along Makati Avenue, wearing the most smart-casual attire your closet will allow, waiting for the traffic light to change to red. You were clutching a brown envelope -- they contained your resumes, right? But, you looked a little flustered. Did your job interview not go so well? It's your fifth interview in six weeks, I hear? Don't worry, they say " Don't call us, we'll call you" to almost everybody. Hindi ka nag-iisa. Oh, your best friend nailed her interview on the first try? And your other ka-barkada, too? Well, good for them. Wag ka lang inggitera. 

I know, I know. You've imagined yourself to be in your dream job immediately after graduation, getting paid (a lot), and doing what you love to do (so "it doesn't feel like work at all,"). You saw yourself changing the world, while live posting it on twitter. 

I must say, your imagination's pretty impressive, and you must've been reading a lot of Steve Jobs. Darling, the real world doesn't work that way, and definitely not that fast. So your two friends who nailed it on their first try? I'll bet you'll spend at least one Friday night with them at a karaoke bar, singing your angst away. Alani's Hand in My Pocket is a good first song, by the way.

*Buying Starbucks

You'll find a job yourself soon. It won't be your dream job, but hey, at least it will pay for happy hour. You will be asked to buy Starbucks for your boss's guest, and while walking out of the office, you'll tell the universe, "Nag-graduate ako ng cum laude para lang bumili ng kape?" When you return, the boss will be angry to know that you forgot to put Splenda in his coffee, and the universe will tell you, "E kape nga lang hindi mo mabili ng maayos, cum laude ka pa nyan ha." You will print the wrong report. You will be yelled at for a lousy job someone else did, and you will be yelled at for a job you put your whole heart into. You will be told you're stupid, and if you're lucky, the whole office will be there to hear it. You will cry in your cubicle. You will lose the promotion to the boss's son, or to someone less hardworking than you. You will learn about dirty office politics, and you will be frustrated to know that you can't do anything about it. You will figure in office tsismis, and you'll make your Twitter account private. You will see your friends going to Boracay, Bangkok and Europe, having the time of their lives. while you're left here, living paycheck to paycheck, wishing you were born an Ayala, a Gokongwei, or a Gosling. You will think about quitting. You will lose the sparkle and the passion. You will forget about your ultimate dream when the real world crushes it right before your eyes. 

But, please don't!!

*Make Passion Last

The truth is, you will never be as passionate as your Fresh Grad self ever again. Make that passion last as long as you can. I don't want to be dramatic, but really, that sparkle? Once it's gone, you can never take it back. Oo, parang virginity lang.

So while you have it, savor the moment. Go make mistakes, while you're still expected to be imperfect. Go cry in the cubicle, while your age allows it. Go sing Hand in My Pocket and You Learn at the karaoke bar, while you're still "young and underpaid". Go chase your dreams and change the world. The best time to change the world? It's right after college, when you are f***ing sure you can. 

See, you will become 26. Then 28. Then 30. And you will be busy looking for money to pay for the bills, or yelling at your assistant who printed the wrong report, and you will just forget about the world you badly wanted to change before. 

How old are you again? Actually, I don't really need to know. You were glowing from where I saw you, and that gave away your age. So stand up straight, clutch your resumes, hold on to your dreams, and stay glowing as long as you can. Make the most of your youth. I swear, you'll miss it when it's gone, and by that time, you will only be able to write about it. 

Best regards, 

An Ex-Fresh Grad

Source:

The Philippine Star

By Antoinette Jadaone

Eat less, But Eat Often

I just read it from a magazine, I know this will help some people. :)) Especially to girls out there who are body conscious and on a diet. And I just wanna share it.

When you are trying to cut back on the amount of food you eat, you will be tempted to cut back on the number of times you are eating. After all, if you are trying to reduce calories, isn't it easiest to reduce the number of meals? This strategy, however, is a recipe for failure.

Aside from the difficulties you might experience because of hunger from skipping meals, eating fewer times per day reduces the efficiency of our bodies in processing food as fuels. In other words, skipping meals maximizes the caloric effect of the food we do eat. A study at Oxford University found that people who ate five to six times a day had a 5% lower total cholesterol and were 45% more likely to be able to sustain their target weight than people who ate once or twice a day. - David Niven, Ph.D., The 100 simple secrets of healthy people

I hope this article will help to maintain your body healthy and have a sexy curve.

Be FIT and FAB!!

Closing cycles

You rarely get to read good topics or excerpts on your Facebook and Twitter timeline. Most of the time, maybe, always it would just be full of random rants, posts and shout outs everything that they're doing. Today, it's this one and sudden urge to share this is really inevitable.

I love Paulo Coelho! I love all his quotable quotes. But yeah! I haven't read any of his books maybe I will some other time. This is one of his humorous article. Enjoy!

**CLOSING CYCLES by Paulo Coelho**

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?

You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a stand still.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relieve an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass and the best we can do it is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it maybe!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means taking some room from other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detached yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationship that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is began, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.

Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. 

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, keep off the dust. 

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

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Closing cycles. The cycle of life is sometimes difficult to understand. Sometimes you cannot walk away and close a cycle just because it NO longer fits your life...not even when it involves SOMEONE else life. It's not right to walk away. It's not right to LIVE only your life, yeah! you have your own life to take business for but still there's someone who stays with your side...your family, friends or special one..and you continue to put your life on hold for them. 

We cannot begin a new chapter in our life if we don't accept that we need to close a previous cycle in our existence. It is like mourning to give up the past, especially when it made an impact on your life. I believe we all have the right to blast our emotions when something or someone is gone. Shredding some tears can often makes us feel better and helps us put thing in perspective. This our way out, our escape route. God has left this door open for us to step through and start moving forward. Yes! It is hard! Our memories are a part of us. They are locked deep inside us and constitutes what we are today. So the choice is to live in crazy, raw reality or live in a mirage of peaceful life. I like better to live in reality no matter what the cost is so you should wake up from a sweet dream, baby! Everything should be renewed, giving space for the future!!

The One that Got Away

I just thought that this would be nice to share...

So true, so real! It makes sense. Worth reading!

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flash-point of that fact. 

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully, you're single or be in a long-term relationship, or be married with three kids...it doesn't matter. All you know is that you have changed. And for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. 

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?", "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?". The one that got away is - the biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens. 

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple - find him or find her. The very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder...what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee. Ask her out to a movie. It doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away". You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow. It  would be a great feeling in the end, to be able to say someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Source: Mark J. Macapagal (The Manila Times)

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Its strange how people just walkin' in and out of your life. When you thought that they are always going to be there...FOREVER and ALWAYS. In our life a whole chapter always begins, everything changes from time to people, nothing stays the same. The existence of that "one that got away" means for me that, if you know who is that person in your life...grab them, tell them and let them know before its too late. Tell him/her that you will loved and respect him/her forever and you're scared of getting old without them. 

So am I that person?? Kind of, no, maybe yes, I am. :)) Don't we all wish something "so good" could stay forever? Don't we all hope that happiness is there to stay? Just always remember that if you lose someone today, it means God has planned someone better is coming tomorrow.  I'm just a girl who saw through it all and I kinda figured out who my "one that got away" is. I'll just find him or he is looking for me maybe he is just out there from nowhere. How about you did you find your "one that got away"?? :P

"Don't be the one who searches, finds and runs away." - Paulo Coelho