Bittersweet Symphony

My life as I know it is evolving by the second. I can barely catch my breath chasing after every millisecond that passes my way. For what it's worth, this is a fresh start for me. On the other hand, it may mean my demise. 

In general, I can say that I'm physically strong all my life. You won't find me stationary for a long time. There's always something that I would do because if not I think I would die. I would be running around, meeting with friends, going to different places, etc.

For a while there, I thought I was sucked into the twilight zone...and then I opened my eyes. Of course, a computer screen with monochromatic window met my ever-so-fluttering eyes. :) Ooops, I'm work! Naa-ah! But, I'm home now, was just channeling the wonders of relay and beyond! Haha

SOOOOO.....

Here's the thing, let's just straight to the point why I'm writing this entry.

It has always been a thought-provoking torment whenever I assess where I'm going in this madness thing call LIFE. At most times, I end up happy and contented with how I've seen things through different aspects, and I end my reverie with a smile and a breath of relief. Now, however, I am seemingly left dumbfounded at the thought of change starting to creep into my senses once again.

My day job, through which I came to know different things and characters, has come and GONE! Yeah, you read it right. I resigned!! It will take effect until this month. WHY?? Because, now, I'm back to my ultimate goal, to pursue what I have spent 4 years in college, career pursuance and growth, digging my half-read books, friends and pipe dreams - things I tossed in the compost heap in preparation for the so called grown-up life. Those meetings and trainings were bound to conclude, so much for waiting for time to cease all foggy madness and I am now facing HARDCORE FACTS.

But, of course, since we all know that life brings us a plethora of surprises "every each time", let me go for the gold by saying I have learned GARGANTUAN amount in those last months I spent as slave to life's effort to teach us the ropes with matters of unfairness.

The sudden urge of "change it up" or "starting over" has crept into me and sometime I am left confused...

Should I stay or should I go? Yes or No? Questions keep bugging my mind before I come into my decision. Me thinks this needs a surfeit of everything to be decided on. No spur-of-the-moment answers, I hope and I will come to the conclusion if and when I do. 

Right now I'm sad because I'll be leaving my team, my boss, and friends who loved, supported and be with...and so soon! :'( but with the thought that we will forever be in each other's hearts, I am slightly comforted. After all, the missing part of the situation will be the hardest to live with. So, a "see you, when I see you" is in session, and thank you to everyone! :D It doesn't matter what happened before, what matters is now.

I'm not all terrified of what is to come. I actually am excited. But when I really think of everything else in between, I plan nonstop and my panic button activated. Weird I am!! :P As much as I want to resolve my thoughts right here and right now, time could not be a better juror in my momentary query. So I guess my phone-in-questions have yet to be relayed in utmost delay and I shall await the no response until time heeds my call.

No matter how my life is hectic in uncanny ways, and topsy-turvy (in a good way, of course). Though life was somewhat this and somewhat that, I'm NOT COMPLAINING at all. In whatever way or form people may see how life makes an effort to make us learn what we need to epitomize in our beings I am in this for the long haul and I am holding tight until the end of the line. Who knows what will be up when I arrive? Only me and a few people will know. I don't know what else may happen in the next few days, but whatever it is, allow me to SMILE and finally put my panic button to rest. 

ANYWAY,

For whatever purpose I may responding to, I know I want this right now. So, I'll be a WARRIOR PRINCESS and be a SOLDIER in separate ordeals. As much as I would like to elaborate, I can only say that I pray for the best!!! :))

IF ALL ELSE FAILS, SMILE AND MAKE THE MAGIC HAPPEN!! :D

To the Twentysomething who wants to change the world

>> Good reads!! Inspiring article to share...:)
>>Take a minute and let yourself 'go-there'. Close your eyes and think about what would your dream look like if you could make it a reality. DARE TO BELIEVE, IT IS POSSIBLE!! :))

Dear Fresh Grad, 

I think I saw you yesterday along Makati Avenue, wearing the most smart-casual attire your closet will allow, waiting for the traffic light to change to red. You were clutching a brown envelope -- they contained your resumes, right? But, you looked a little flustered. Did your job interview not go so well? It's your fifth interview in six weeks, I hear? Don't worry, they say " Don't call us, we'll call you" to almost everybody. Hindi ka nag-iisa. Oh, your best friend nailed her interview on the first try? And your other ka-barkada, too? Well, good for them. Wag ka lang inggitera. 

I know, I know. You've imagined yourself to be in your dream job immediately after graduation, getting paid (a lot), and doing what you love to do (so "it doesn't feel like work at all,"). You saw yourself changing the world, while live posting it on twitter. 

I must say, your imagination's pretty impressive, and you must've been reading a lot of Steve Jobs. Darling, the real world doesn't work that way, and definitely not that fast. So your two friends who nailed it on their first try? I'll bet you'll spend at least one Friday night with them at a karaoke bar, singing your angst away. Alani's Hand in My Pocket is a good first song, by the way.

*Buying Starbucks

You'll find a job yourself soon. It won't be your dream job, but hey, at least it will pay for happy hour. You will be asked to buy Starbucks for your boss's guest, and while walking out of the office, you'll tell the universe, "Nag-graduate ako ng cum laude para lang bumili ng kape?" When you return, the boss will be angry to know that you forgot to put Splenda in his coffee, and the universe will tell you, "E kape nga lang hindi mo mabili ng maayos, cum laude ka pa nyan ha." You will print the wrong report. You will be yelled at for a lousy job someone else did, and you will be yelled at for a job you put your whole heart into. You will be told you're stupid, and if you're lucky, the whole office will be there to hear it. You will cry in your cubicle. You will lose the promotion to the boss's son, or to someone less hardworking than you. You will learn about dirty office politics, and you will be frustrated to know that you can't do anything about it. You will figure in office tsismis, and you'll make your Twitter account private. You will see your friends going to Boracay, Bangkok and Europe, having the time of their lives. while you're left here, living paycheck to paycheck, wishing you were born an Ayala, a Gokongwei, or a Gosling. You will think about quitting. You will lose the sparkle and the passion. You will forget about your ultimate dream when the real world crushes it right before your eyes. 

But, please don't!!

*Make Passion Last

The truth is, you will never be as passionate as your Fresh Grad self ever again. Make that passion last as long as you can. I don't want to be dramatic, but really, that sparkle? Once it's gone, you can never take it back. Oo, parang virginity lang.

So while you have it, savor the moment. Go make mistakes, while you're still expected to be imperfect. Go cry in the cubicle, while your age allows it. Go sing Hand in My Pocket and You Learn at the karaoke bar, while you're still "young and underpaid". Go chase your dreams and change the world. The best time to change the world? It's right after college, when you are f***ing sure you can. 

See, you will become 26. Then 28. Then 30. And you will be busy looking for money to pay for the bills, or yelling at your assistant who printed the wrong report, and you will just forget about the world you badly wanted to change before. 

How old are you again? Actually, I don't really need to know. You were glowing from where I saw you, and that gave away your age. So stand up straight, clutch your resumes, hold on to your dreams, and stay glowing as long as you can. Make the most of your youth. I swear, you'll miss it when it's gone, and by that time, you will only be able to write about it. 

Best regards, 

An Ex-Fresh Grad

Source:

The Philippine Star

By Antoinette Jadaone

I just came to say Hello, Hello!!

I have noticed that I got a lot of page views during the past few weeks upon checking may page view tab. Am I feeling really guilty  because I wasn't able to update my blog. Don't think that I've abandoned this already, I haven't and I won't. :) Actually, I often think about posting some of rants Haha!, new reviews and whatnot but I just don't have the luxury of time to type up a decent entry as of late. Right now, I'm busy at work and the coming week is going to be the ultimate experience of that.  

Maybe I'll get some time off, like weekends, to come up with an entry but i'll be purely text. Taking pictures takes some time sooooo yeah!! :P

I have so much I want to share. Things in my mind are exploding but it's hard for me to put it in words right now! RAWR! I promise to update my blog as soon as I have much time. A virtual HUGS to all my readers!! :) Anyway, I hope you're all doing well. :)

New Beginnings

The job went so much better than I ever could have hoped. I've only really been looking for 2 months and have had several interviews. It's official! Welcome to the world of Employed! Thanks goodness! I'm not a bum anymore. Today, marks my third week of training, and the onset of the flurry of headaches and information overload I shall expect and deal with. It's a 9:00-5:30 Monday through Friday and sounds like a really great opportunity. I've been a little bit of an anxious wreck during this whole process and am so glad to finally have something to do fill my days. And, that's my news. Thoughts of previous training and tasks....discussions, exams, call sims and sanity everywhere. Time to deal with all I've left behind now. Even, though it's a BIG new world for me--from nursing to banking & finance and sometimes confusing so far, so good. As far as I know, irregularity does not kill. It may merely infuriate my beloved mental capacity at times, but still. Work science, here I come. 

My company ID! It's official! Yeyy! :)

I really hope I can get through all the trainings and be familiar with the system. So as to get a headstart on rebuilding my career life if things go as planned, I'll be happy and normal by next year. That's not so bad, right? I mean I know it can only get better. I hope. 

So, a reform in order this year. I will be better---even if it kills me. Haha That is my personal choice and sacrifice. That is for the welfare of mine future. So, for lie low to lax dreams and chill-ness, I will miss you things sooo much. I must and shall embark on my personal journey to the straits of the unknown and the previously known, for that matter. 

CIAO!! Immaturity and petti-me-ness and hello to embellished reform.

On the other note, life goes on. Like what Kelly Clarkson song would say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stand a little taller." On that note, I'll start my piece.

In a nutshell, this entry screams the realizations that I never thought two weeks of Citi Training would actually make a difference in my life. I used to think it was just something I'd sleep through, a little something that will bore me. But, hell no!! I was strong!! As I attended class, the magic of enjoying work unfolded right in front of my eyes. Despite being the outspoken persona that I am, I am left amazed at what had transpired for the last two weeks of my existence. I gained so much more than I could ever have imagined, thanks to my new-found friends, acquaintances, officemates and trainers for making the training fun and enjoyed. 

And then came the excruciating truth, I shared a fairly balanced parody to my burned out colleagues, and made notes on major restructuring that needs to be done. *sigh* it came as unbelievable as anything could be, but, as I say, I've lifted everything up already to HIM. :)

But at the end of the day, I still find myself at peace, somewhat satisfied with what I've accomplished so far. It may not be much, but, hey there's a progress. And that's what counts. :))

For anything else, I pray so hard that things will take a turn for the better and that life will bully me less. Then again, every development is a big step already for me.