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There’s a brief moment when you first wake up where you have no memories --- a blissful blank slate, a happy emptiness. But it doesn’t last long and you remember exactly where you are and what you were trying to forget…Each of us has memories. Good ones and sad ones. Unfortunately, our mind is mostly filled with the sad ones. It’s easier to keep sad memories because it comes with a scar. Good memories come with laughters and they all fade away. Every night, before we sleep, we have to remember all these sad memories because before we sleep, we think about people we care about and miss, but we lost the chance of holding again. Nobody really wants to forget these memories, but nobody wants to remember them either.

“With one blast it had taken out his insides. And that too made her throat ache, although she’d heard of worse things. It was that moment, that one moment, of realizing you were totally empty. He must have felt that. Sometimes, alone in her room in the dark, she thought she knew what it might be like. - Louise Erdrich”

Succumb

It is so hard to feel okay, to look okay and to tell yourself everything's fine and cool when it really is not. There are days when I’ve just given up on myself, given up on all of this, given up on everything that used to matter. I give up because I’m tired of fighting, tired of pretending it’s OK, tired of believing that there are winning moments to wait for. My life lately is a bit of a blur. I don't know where to go...what to do...what I want (to be)... It's really darkness. I see most of the things in obfuscate way now, unclear and not pretty in sight. One day I just knew, that maybe after all the backbreaking, it’s still not good enough. I viewed my way in a vivid positive manner; hence, I shall not fear nor cowardly carry off stuff. I know that there is a bigger story beyond this, that there is so much more bound to happen, that one day I’ll know that I did the right thing. But for today, just for today, I give up. Days have passed, occurrences were in existent, but compare to other days I had throughout this living, nothing was perfect and nothing did ever come grand as I expected it to be. Consequently, I thought, perhaps, I expected gigantically good is going to happen and by which circumvent me afterwards.

I give up today, and hope that I have hope for tomorrow.

"Sometimes there's airplanes I can't jump out
Sometimes there's bllsht that don't work now
We are God of stories, but please tell me
What there is to complain about?
When you're happy like a fool, let it take you over
When everything is out you gotta take it in."

Everything Has Changed

I've have been listening to Taylor Swift since she started singing way back when I was in college. I was a fan of her Teardrops on my Guitar and never knew that soon after she'll be famous for writing break up and heartfelt songs. You know what they say, whatever you feel; it always has a Taylor Swift song counterpart. I've listened to her Love Story and Another Picture to Burn countless times when no one else knows her except me and my iPod. And up to this day, I'm still a fan. I've heard a lot of rumors or probably facts that are not so nice about her but hey…her music is what I like.

The Red album cycle looks like Taylor Swift's biggest time to date. People started calling her a sellout as she released pop hits after pop hits with We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, I Knew You Were Trouble and 22. Her latest single Everything Has Changed which features Ed Sheeran tries to redeem her from the public's new perception of her music.

Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran have just possibly made the cutest video ever with “Everything Has Changed,” a song they co-wrote for her current album, Red.

It revolves around two kids depicted as best friends. They are inseparable at school eating lunch together in the playground and staring in school play. In an adorable scene set in a music room, he's strumming his guitar while she's sitting at his feet and looking adorably at him. The girl resembles the country/pop singer with her long blonde curly hair and summery dresses, and the boy looks a lot like the British artist with his freckled face and curly red hair. Throughout the day, they are with their classmates, but are lost in their own little world: doing yoga when the rest of their chums are playing soccer or sitting quietly on the gym while the other children are rambunctiously run circles around them. They are happy just being in each other’s company, even when doing separate activities. It’s a little odd when he’s reading “The Notebook” to her, and when she’s giving him a tattoo. The storyline could likely spark curiosity about the nature of their relationship. But the clip is a total joy to watch as their mini-mesh has what seems like the perfect day. We don’t want to ruin anything, but make sure you watch this one until the very end for a surprise we didn’t see coming.

Can I get a collective “Awwwwwww.....” :))))

So here's the music video for Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran's song, Everything Has Changed. I know its kind of late and I already seen this video ever since its release but the video is so adorable especially the kids and I won't let this video slip in my blog! I thought Taylor and Ed won't appear in the video but I got shocked in the end! Haha. This is one of the best and my fave songs off her latest album, Red. Enough said, Just watch it and be amazed. Fall in love and adore the kids, rather. :) ♥

'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
And you'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

Did you like the song after watching the clip? Hit the LIKE and sound off in the comment section below.

The bottom line of this post? Nah, I just want to share that for the past days I've been constantly listening to her Album Red, countless times. My favorite on the playlist? Stay, Stay, Stay and Everything has changed. Oh wait, include there her single Red and 22. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own all the pictures featured on this page belong to their respective owners. Got it from Google.

#30ThingsILove

Since I cannot sleep yet and the moon is bright. I’ve been scrolling my news feed on twitter and seeing my friends keep on posting on this trending topic, so I decided to ride on this hash tag #10ThingsILove. Chichi (that’s my dog) was lying on her back, paws straight up in the air, when she rolled over, yawned, and said to me, in her puppy way, “Mom, I love you. You’re awesome.” And she’s right. Hihihi to make this kind of my own, I decided to make a list of #30ThingsIReallyLove, from the sort of shallow to the deeply ingrained. I hope you’ll all do the same (about yourselves, not me) in the comments! :))

1. When people sing the songs of your favorite band to you (even they swear they hate them) 
2. Ponytails in the summer 
3. Hand written letters and doodles 
4. When people say "you look nice today" even if they see you every day 
5. Surprises 
6. Kisses on the cheek and holding hands 
7. Getting lost in music while I shower 
8. Reading through memories in last year's planner 
9. Rain when I'm indoors The smell crisp of new book 
10. How it feels to stick one foot out of your blanket 
11. Coffee and Milk tea while I read or write 
12. The photo booth pictures I’ve got tacked up on the inside of my cabinet doors 
13. When people say "this reminds me of you" 
14. Roses and Tulips 
15. Shopping (clothes, shoes, accessories, watches and bags) 
16. Watching my favorite movies over and over again. 
17. Looking at old family pictures and reliving happy memories 
18. My loyal and cray cray friends 
19. Quotes that inspire me 
20. Seeing people smile. It makes me happy to see other people happy. 
21. The wind in my face on a warm day 
22. True deep felt genuine hugs 
23. My dog. It’s not just her absolutely adorable faces, but the fact that I have had her for years, and she still greet me at the door every day like she haven’t seen me in years. She really is the best stress relievers and just happiness boosters in general. 
24. Food. I enjoy trying out new restaurants. I especially love the role food plays in my life it definitely fosters conversation and it essentially brings people together….and it is deeelicioius :) 
25. Good, witty, random, talk-for-hours like I haven’t seen you in ages type of conversation 
26. Feeling well-rested after a much needed nap 
27. Life. The beauty of it. No matter how bad things get, there is always something beautiful to keep us going forward. 
28. Random acts of kindness 
29. The people in my life. I’m truly blessed.

Happy weekend with Friends

“There is nothing quite like the value of friendship.”

I just got home a few hours ago. I slept over at my friend’s condo for overnight. At last this meet-up have been push through after of thousand and thousand of planning.

Let's rewind...

Me and my friend, Zackie had an early nurse on-call duty at Makati for the scheduled vaccination. So, of course we shouldn’t be late since we expect the patients to come around 8am. After of almost 10 hours duty we meet our friend, Paige in Greenbelt and go directly to the condo to take a bath and change our clothes. It’s a very tiring day but it's nice to have friends around; someone you can talk to who also enjoys eating the foods you crave. I had a night out with my college close friends. It was such a good feeling that after a stressful day, we can be with each other’s arms for one night. The night started with dinner and night swimming. It was a great night! it was night of good music, never ending stories and loud laughter. Bonding moments like these never grow old. So that night was chill but awesome. A few hours after hanging out for milk tea at Agantea we decided to go strolling around Greenbelt and find a place where we can go to. Since it was around midnight or so, every place was packed! So, we opted to go back to the condo and just buy two bottles of Margarita and soda for chaser and some corn and chips. We lost tracked of time and if it weren't for my cellphone alarm at 4am, we weren’t able to sleep and have stayed awake 'til morning. All you have to know is that we had a lot of fun and that we're doing this again if time would allow us to.

Nurses on-call

Night swimming

Chillin' + Milk tea @ Agantea

The next day we woke up at around 11am. We are so very hungry so we ate our lunch at Gerry’s Grill in Greenbelt 3. Since, it’s Sunday I asked them if they want to hear the mass with me and right after they said yes, we go for the 3pm mass at Greenbelt Park Chapel. So we heard the mass…And window shopping again after. And a cup of Tea from Chatime. A little chit chats then dinner and rest.

Lunch at Gerry's Grill

I had a great weekend because I had the chance to go out and spend some time to bond and chat with my college friends. It really feels great to unwind and have some bonding time together with your friends. This one night of bonding was kind of perfect. We all had fun sharing stories about our college memories, current tsismis, and some other stuff. Even though we didn't do crazy stuff, it was nice. We all went home around 8pm.

Girls night out is not complete without MIRROR SHOTS!! :)

Wooow. It's really a tiring weekend for me. Nonstop. Mind you…My dad's already mad at me for staying out most of the time…I guess it's already a part of me. I'm into adventures and I'm the one who can't stay at home for a very a long period of time especially when there a lot of invitations to attend to. :p We only live once, so grab all the opportunities!! Hehe

So that's it. Heaps of fun. That weekend made me too happy that I didn't want it to end. However, all good things must come to an end. Oh my. Looking forward now to my birthday for a break. Cheers!! :D I hope you had an awesome weekend too. Be awesome and spread happiness!!:))

I’m that GIRL

I’m the girl who prefers a dozen of roses instead of a one or two.

 I’m the kind of girl whose hair is always a mess.

 I’m the girl who could live in the mall and never get tired of shopping.

 I'm the girl who will spend hours doodling her name on a paper trying to find a good way to write.

 I’m the girl who likes to stay home reading a book and falls in love with fictional characters.

 I’m the girl who always thinks time is going by too fast, and wishes every good moment could last a lifetime.

 I’m the girl who puts on a smile because she doesn’t want the attention of someone asking her what’s wrong.

 I’m the girl who would rather go out on a Friday night with close friends than got to a wild party with random strangers.

 I’m the type of girl who wants to fall in love with one person and have him for the rest of her life.

 I’m the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going out to some fancy restaurant.

 I’m the girl who would rather stay up all night talking and sharing secrets with you than going out and getting drunk.

 I’m the girl who loves to sleep but reads all through the night.

 I’m the girl who is loyal and has their backs no matter what…the girl who will get in a fight with you but who is not really the fighting type.

 I’m the girl that loves romantic movies because it makes her smile and cry, loves comedy because it makes her laugh, and loves action because it makes her heart jump.

 I'm the girl who will cry in the middle of the night and still insist that everything is fine.

 I’m the girl who has her music so loud when she takes her headphones on she goes deaf for awhile.

 I’m the girl that believes in magic, in wishing at 11:11, who believes everything happens for a reason.

 I’m the girl who loves to stare in the sky, close her eyes and daydream about how her life could be.

 I’m the girl who won’t make you hold her bag, but would rather hold your hand instead.

 I’m the girl who is incredibly weird but you really wanna meet.

 I’m the girl who appreciates little simple gestures, than going too far of trying to impress me by doing something big.

 I’m the girl smart enough and beautiful enough (I think) to never be taken for granted and to never be anyone’s second best.

 I’m the girl who has always wished a prince would come on a white horse and sweep me off my feet.

 I’m the girl who will listen to you, but never judge you. The kind of girl who, once I know you, will help you through anything, as much as I can. The type who doesn’t like to see people hurt, even though she’s hurting so much on the inside.

 I’m the girl who doesn’t care if its a million dollars bag, a book from book sale or a homemade, handwriting card as long as you thought of me.

 I’m the girl who will love you than anyone can possibly dream of as long as I see your sincerity and you prove to me that you’re worthy of my heart.

 I’m the girl who will give you a smile to brighten up your bad day.

 I’m the girl who feels giddy herself to sleep at night thinking of you, when I know I’m the last thing on your mind.

 I’m the girl who don’t smoke, sleep around or start drama to get someone attention.

 I’m the girl who enjoys being alone. But, sometimes at the time I over think a lot. And I hate it, but I still do it.

 I’m the girl who watches a movie like I’m watching my life unfold on the screen in front of me.

 I’m the girl believes in love and romance. She has hopes and fears, just like anyone. Sometimes, she feels frightened. Sometimes, she feels unloved. But she’s brave, and goodhearted, and faces her life head on.

 I’m the girl who is not plain, yet nothing special, but I don’t think anyone is ever going to call me beautiful. I don’t have that graceful thing going on. Apart from a simple, fashionable taste in clothes, and the fact that I’m a bit short, there’s not a lot separating me from anyone you might pass in the street. An ordinary girl, leading an ordinary life. It actually suited me fine.

 I’m the girl who is selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes and at times hard to handle. But if you can handle me at my worst, then I’m sure as hell you can handle me at my best.

I’m happy, I’m sensitive, I’m nothing, I’m lazy, I cry, I tear, I laugh, I annoy, this is my life and I like that way.

 And yes, I’m the kind of girl who posts this cheesy text post on my personal blog because she can’t post it anywhere else.

 I’m me…and I’m not sorry. If you don’t like the kind of girl I am, I will try not to be hurt and keep on being me without changing to please someone else.

 Soooo…Yeah! That’s the kind of GIRL I am!! :))

Behind It All

Did you ever wonder that anything – perceptible or imperceptible, existent or non-existent, visible or invisible, fact or fiction – has an explanation, reason, theory or mainly a purpose? Everything! Has a reason behind. The laptop in my table stays there for a reason, there is a reason why your cellphone got stolen, why people walk away from you and you became strangers, why you have this life, setting aside the truth…your bias in choosing a blue shirt for whatever color you chose…THERE IS A REASON. That’s why I believe in the adage that, “Everything happens for a reason.” In everything lies a purpose. Some, we simply know in advance, while others would take a moment before we realize, before we become fully aware of it. I love surprises!! I love surprising myself. I have this habit of placing money bills in between pages of books, notebooks or even pockets of bag. Time pass and I would forget where I had placed that bills. But when I need it, BOOM! It pops up! What can I say surprising myself is indeed helpful? Why do I make fun of myself?? Using these non-sense tricks?? But mind you, sometimes I hate this. I know that everyone experience this feeling, it is when-you-need-something-it-nevers-shows-up and when-you-don’t-need-it-it-flash-in-you-face. I would always tell myself that on everything that happened, and will happen, there lies a reason and purpose. Probably now or soon it will make sense to every detail in my life.

Each day is a page that we ride on. Our destiny is all written, but the beauty of it, is on how we will make it happen. It’s like a movie; we are our own director, the actor/actress, writers and even the audience. Yes, there are second takes, but of different kind, different effect and of a different twists. We have our free will to choose what makes us human, and what defines our individuality. These external factors only contribute to how we achieve our goal and in the end it’s still our own decision that will make a change. Only YOU can lay your cards.

C’EST LA VIE!!

COSMOS

Time check, it is almost past twelve, 12:42am to be exact, it’s already dawn and all the people are already in deep sleep and here I am wide awake with no signs of sleepiness at all like an owl. O.O I can’t sleep!! Maybe this over thinking is the culprit for ruining my precious body clock.

Anyway, I have nothing in particular I’d like to say. I just wanted to write or to type and hear the keyboard clack as I do. The itch is back. LOL :)) This itch comes and goes. My head is swimming in gigantic thoughts and ideas. And I hate it!! I can’t stop thinking or rather over thinking. So what’s the goal/priority? I want to build myself a career. I can’t say I started treading the wrong path because I invested time and effort where I am now, learned a couple of things --- patience for one. Often we want, what we desire is something we keep deep inside of us…something so dear and so special, it feels too scary to let it out into the open. It’s our own little secret, and therefore, safe from harm. But maybe we have to let those secrets out in order to actually really live. The fallout from those secrets being revealed is often hard…or sometime surprising and maybe even inevitable.

We all feel caught at some point or another between choices. Like one once said, "Freedom of choice is what we want. Freedom from choice is what we need." Having choices, at first, feels exciting, but after a while it can also be overwhelming, like we're trapped with no clear way out. If you're lucky you might find someone is there to catch you when you finally escape the web. But most of the time, it's harder. Some people get caught between their secrets and wanting to do the right thing...while others are caught between their desires and their ambitions. I was faced with a tough decision, for sure. But I no longer felt caught between what I wanted and what my dad wanted. Do everything you can just to get what you want. Do everything you can, not because you have to but because you want to. And more importantly, do everything you can because that you deserves much more than those effortlessly thrown shots and often misused and empty words. I realized this was my life, and I wasn't going to have any regrets.

Too many options or choices can kill a man. My brain can kill a man, too! Bigtime! Brain owner included. I cannot firmly decide on which action to take when my shitty brain won’t stop creating branches of options for options for more options on which concrete route to take. And this limbo is slowly and silently beginning its process of killing me. Where do I start? How will I start? What is money without the feeling of fulfillment? I need to find a way to get me out in this kind of dilemma. Or anywhere near that point in the triangle. Do I need a sign? Oh, yeah I need a sign!! I need someone to push me harder. I need faith in my ability. In God’s plan, in myself, I’m calling out the universe, please connive and give me a tiny boost. And then I promise to take it from here.

“If you want something so bad, chase after it. Don't saunter. Don't stroll. Don't even brisk walk.”

Everyday

Everyday, everything feels new. It is like a new stage. It's like a roller coaster of different levels - it gets freaky when you're about to fall from a high point yet you still have fun in the end. But at some point, some days are like songs you once loved to sing however now; you wished you never knew the words.

I hate change. It takes a lot of time and effort for me to adjust to new things. Ironically, despite my apprehensions, I usually end up embracing whatever it is that took so long to get used to. It’s a bad cycle, really. I find it difficult to accept a new situation, but sometimes this difficulty is what eventually makes it all the more endearing it to me. And by the time I need to move on from it, I find myself unable to let go and unwilling to face yet another version of my life. This is why I’m frightened of things suddenly changing around me. Can be somebody or something. The knowledge that I will surely make it through brings me little comfort.

I never wanted to be at this point, who else wants to be? Right? I dreamed of happiness and felicity for everyday, every minute or each single seconds of the clock in my life. AM I SOUND BORING EH?? Hahaha Honestly, in everything I do, in everything I chose, I always first ask myself, “Do I want this?”, “Will this makes me happy?” or “Do I need this?” if YES, I’ll embrace it wholeheartedly with open arms meaning I’m ready enough for the consequences, for the pros and cons of whatever it may bring. If NO or MAYBE, I’ll turn it down and move on to the next.

I am not bragging that I can make up my mind fast. That I can visualize what may happen or which is black or white…..In fact I replay every detail that can help in my decision making and to tell you, ITS HARD, SOOO DAMN HARD!!

Sometimes life has its own way of unfolding things in time you wouldn’t expect it to be, for you to clearly understand the events. One day I feel happy, next day happier, the next day bad, then badder and then you’ll assume tomorrow will be the worth-est. But life sometimes fools you! You silly kid! You saw sunshine and rainbow eventually. Lalala~ Life’s good in a way, SEE?? Life is awesome. It makes you awe in things or people every day. It can be a good one, a success or triumph then it turns into awww suddenly, which is bad, sadness or failure.

TO MYSELF, hang on in there, it’s what you chose, this is what you wanted and needed some time to recover…what I’d rather know is how you can manage to have your whole world turned upside down without feeling anything… perhaps, things will get better. :)

I Have Story to Tell

I love stories. If you gave me unlimited time to anything I wanted. I would spend it all devouring stories. I could be reading or watching something. Either way, I’d be very happy. The way we tell stories have evolved over time. In the early time, people just passed them on with the spoke word. Now there are more than few methods to go about it. Because of existence of this highly technical gadgets in this geeration, stories can tell in many means, can be through e-books, audiobooks, podcasts which is mostly convenient to all of us, anytime and anywhere.

Film has become a very popular way, probably because it’s too easy to sit back and absorb something with very little effort while enjoying yourself as well. Back in the days, I’m a person who always prefers viewing something over reading it, because I’d readily enjoy something ragher than have to imagine it for myself. But now that perspective change, I love both. I personally do enjoy reading just as much as I enjoy watching. :))

We all have stories to tell…stories about love, hope, pain, holding on, letting go and moving on…we smiled, we laughed, we cried on and over these stories. Stories allow us to experience things that are completely different from our lives. It’s part of human nature. It’s part of the transition. The irony is that we often judge a piece of work by how well we can relate to it, even when the setting or plot is so bizarre to us. But that’s probably the secret to a great story — we have to go through all these to teach us to recognize, to understand, and to appreciate our existence. It is how deeply affects us, despite our distance from it. How I wish I had all the time to read, to know and to watch all the great stories in the world.

Little things we shouldn’t forget

Here’s a friendly reminder from my daily planner:

While looking my planner for this month of February to recall those past goings-on I had for this ‘love’ month seems that routine stick to my system! Ughhh >.< I hate it and that was how this 28days month passes by. It was stuck on the marker for February and I couldn’t resist taking a picture of it to remind me because it stood out to me in so many ways.

I don’t find it too difficult to laugh in general, but there’s something to be said about sincere and unrestrained laughter. I think that there’s a certain freedom and relief that comes from it. It doesn’t cure everything, contrary to the old adage, but it certainly makes a lot of things better.

I consider myself to be mostly happy with the daily struggle and tussle with life and know that working really hard for something is dreadful at the time, but incredibly satisfying at the end. I know that the more I struggle and the more I fight for something, then it’s so appreciated at the end. I strive to be happy but I don’t go looking for it and although, it makes me sound rather grim, I really appreciate the challenges of daily life. Of course, it’s all relative. I sometimes think that happiness can be overrated and people start worrying/asking if they are happy or not. I quote in one article I have read, words are, “if you are well, have friends, do something meaningful, then why would you not considered yourself happy?”

Laughing out loud can be too easy, in fact, if your personality is inclined to it. But there are instances that depreciate experience, and we have to do our best to avoid those hollow and contrived laughs. This is not to say there’s no place for hilarity in the small or the trivial. Nor that laughter must have some greater meaning to be convincing. Laughter is best when natural, spontaneous and genuine, without baggage or agenda.

I'm content in the knowledge, that in my struggle, that I'm doing the right thing. I'm content in knowing that the moments of happiness come and go, sometimes like a visitor that can't stay long and like a dear friend, we miss it when it's gone.

Just…laugh. LAUGH OUT LOUD.

Not another teenage post

It's one of those days wherein I feel impatient with my life. Routine has always been one of my pet peeves and I hate being trapped inside one, it feels like sucking the vigor and verve out of me. I hate waking up every morning not being thrilled about how another day will go on. Probably, history is just repeating itself for I remember having the same disposition in college. Maybe it is a bleak stage after. I swear to God I'd kill for a twist right now. Sometimes my interest in this freakin’ so-called life faded away. I hardly find neither the strength to keep moving forward nor the will to continue in spite of the obstacles. I found it can be very boring at times.

Okay! stop complaining, Cai!!! This is the chosen path in the very beginning and I shall complete it. All I need now - McDonalds Chocolate Sundae to bring some sweetness and to relieve the stress. Leave regret, move forward. Tomorrow another better day. ♥ Anyhow, if I've overpassed it before then it won't be a problem to do it all over again. Patience. Patience. Patience. More so because I now have better things in my little pocket in the occasion of rainy days.

Stuck

I was filtering files in my lappy when I saw this poem I made when I’m in high school if I’m not mistaken. I just caught myself smiling while reading it I realized how “emo” I am way back in my high school years. I don’t even remember the reason or the story why I came up writing this poem. Hahaha :))

STUCK (Original Poem)

Here I am, doing nothing

I hate this feeling

Like I’m here, but I’m not

Minding no one, just myself

Like someone cares, but they don’t

Hearing silence keep ringing in my ear

Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here

I’m here hiding...hoping no one will find me

In the depths of my lonesome self

No one's here

Everyone’s minding their own thing

Everyone's outside…having fun

Smiles and big grin in their face

Can’t talk to anyone…

Can't turn to anyone…

'Cause nobody cares…

They all gone…they all left

I'm alone

I’m stuck.

#50factsaboutme

So, as some of you know, this is one of those things a bunch of people are doing on Facebook notes and lately, become one of the'trending topics' on twitter. I can't sleep yet, so I decided to ride on this Twitter trending hashtag #50factsaboutme. Listing 50 useless, random facts about myself that no one actually cares about. I haven't blogged in a while, so I decided to come up with 50 facts about me. I made few months ago, HERE. This will be a challenge because I'm not all that interesting. Or at least I don't think I am. While I managed to resist literally sending/flooding 50 tweets with facts about myself, I started thinking this might be a fun topic for a blog post. 

Interested??

Then, keep reading!! ^-^

1. I'm kind of an emotional roller-coaster.
2. I'm a daddy's girl.
3. I can't remember a time of my life without a pet. Or pets.
4. I started writing journals/diary at a young age. It's what I've wanted to do.
5. I think I am a better writer when I am reading.
6. I love anything and everything related to Starbucks.
7. I am completely a dog person.
8. Big sleeper. My bed is my comfort zone. Who doesn't?! You cannot disturb me when I am with my bed. It's my rule. Unless, it's important. Haha 
9. I am a people person but always need some time alone.
10. I love driving. Sometimes, I love seeing mad men drivers having a bad moment caused by my bad driving skills. Weird me!! Hehe 
11. I've never been out of the country. But, I hope someday I will.
12. Smiling is my therapy. If I don't smile even for a day. I feel stripped.
13. I used to take gymnastics lesson when I was 5 years old. I remember how flexible I am by that time. Haha I wish I had continued.
14. I cry. A lot. Sometimes even during particularly emotional commercial or movies. Or just ones that I find particularly emotional.
15. Chocolates is my weakness. Sweets, I must say.
16. I didn't really learn how to laundry until last year when I used to stay in the condo for three months.
17. I still don't really know how to cook.
18. I love cloudy days and cool weather.
19. I'm actually kind of neat freak. It just...comes and goes.
20. Puppies make my heart smile.
21. I share my bed with my dog. I've had a dog that was 'mine'. An Apricot Toy Poodle named chichi. She is capable of taking up the entire bed. Like a boss.
22. Whenever I am down and have things to think about I go out for a walk then eat anything.
23. Music is a huge part of my life. It can cheer me up, or facilitate fits of crying, or make me feel like a total badass, or make me hunger for adventure, or make me feel nostalgic, or...Well, you get the idea.
24. I have a serious fetish for clothes, shoes and bags.
25. The thesaurus is my best friend when I'm writing.
26. I sing like a maniac in  my car. That's when I'm all alone. It makes me feel like a rockstar, even when I can't hit all the notes.
27. It drives me crazy when I can't think of the word or expression to describe how I feel.
28. When I'm enjoying myself, I can be in a place for hours. But when I get antsy, I will find a way to escape and entertain myself elsewhere.
29. I have a ghostly pale skin. That's what's people describing about.
30. Jeans and shorts are my favorite thing to wear.
31. I'm actually quite shy most of the time.
32. I loved to exercise and have jogging early morning when I have time. Because otherwise I wouldn't able to eat sooo much food I want. :P
33. Starbucks and CBTL. My all-time favorite place to get coffee. Particularly, Frappuccinos. Also, my favorite place to go sit with myself and chat with friends and family.
34. I dislike people who always rant about life because I believe in positivity. I always want the feeling of being blessed and encouraged.
35. Crunchy peanut butter and Nutella, a winner every time!!!
36. People always think I'm younger than my real age.
37. I love photography and travelling. If they will offer me a job that will require me to travel and take photos with all expenses paid, even they will not provide a salary, I will SURELY go for it. :))
38. I'm frightened with those children asking for alms in the streets. But, I have nothing against them. 
39. I admire and love my Mom and Dad, they are the best and awesomest parents in the worlds for me. :D
40. I tweet but I'm not a twitterwhore. Believe me. Haha
41. I am more of a listener than a speaker.
42. Math is not my thing. We are not friends with numbers, that is for sure. 
43. Movies/films are my bestfriends. They also keep me sane.
44. I am hooked to TV series like Grey's Anatomy, The Vampire Diaries, Walking Dead and etc.
45. Prayer is my weapon...when I am weak, insecure, sad, scared, depress, confused, tempted, discouraged, sick, stressed, and feeling empty. TRUST ME, IT ALWAYS WORKS!!!
46. I can easily forgive someone at fault. And saying I am sorry if I am at fault, isn't too hard for me to express. 
47. I really enjoy going to the bookstores finding some good reads. I love reading books, doesn't matter whether it's fictional or factual; the more info the better.
48. I have two sides to my personality and many sub-characters that make me who I am.
49. I am kind of embarrassed that I'm sharing some of these things, now that I think about it.
50. I love you my very best readers/viewers. :* 

Hey, look!!! I think that would be all for now. Maybe you can also share your own version of the '50factsaboutme' and post it here.  

Diredirechooooo.....Realidad

Ang unang taglish blog post ko. BOW! Trip trip lang. Inaasam ko na sana kasing galing kong sumulat si Bob Ong. O baka excuse ko lang ito kasi wala sa mood ang utak ko na mag-Ingles ng tuloy tuloy. Kung anuman yun, wala nang pakialamanan, walang basagan ng trip basta taglish ito.

Naisip ko nalang bigla, bakit kaya ang dami paring tao ang nahihilig sa pagsusulat, mapaonline o gamit ang ballpen at papel. Sabagay, at least ang pagsusulat may kabuua, minsan ang tao wala! Sadyang magulo lang. May simula, gitna at dulo. Walang labis, walang kulang. May kahulugan, may nilalaman, may pinaghuhugutan - minsan marami, minsan iisa lang. Depende kung sino ang nagsusulat at depende kung sino ang nagbabasa. Naisip ko dahil sa pagiging OC ko minsan o lagi, natutuwa kasi ako kahit sa mga letra o salitang ginagamit ko kailangan ganito, kailangan ganyan. Gusto ko kasi may order, para mas magandang tignan. Na kahit papaano walang magulo. Naalala ko lang nung nagsisimula akong magsulat (dating dati pa) na puro tuldok lang ang alam ko, na tuldok lang ang dulo ng kada sentence. Ngayong matanda na ako, mula sa tuldok puro question mark nalang ang kinaduduluhan ng lahat. (Alam ko maraming sumasangayon sa akin tungkol dito, diba?!) Wala na ngang katapusan, wala pang kasiguruhang kasagutan. Parang mas mahirap, mas kumplikado, at magulo. 

Siguro.....yung magulong bagay na iyan may pinanggagalingan. Ikaw? Ano sa tingin mo?? Simple lang naman ang lahat ng bagay eh, kailangan pang pakumplikahin. May mga bagay lang talaga sa buhay na sadyang nagyayare. Ang mga pangyayari o sitwasyon na inaakala natin ay nagaganap lang sa mga nababasa natin sa dyaryo o napapanuod sa TV ay maaari pala mangyari sa totoong buhay. Nakakagulat. Di kapanipaniwala pero TOTOO. Lahat nalang may rason, may dahilan. Nature, nurture sabi nga nila. Nasa paligid lang din naman daw ang solusyon. Parepareho lang yang mga experiences! Isa itong aral na hindi dapat ipagwalang bahala. Sa mga ganitong sitwasyon alam natin na lahat tayo ay naging biktima. BIKTIMA NG PAGKAKATAON. 

Simple lang ang mga sagot. Gusto lang natin i-stress ang ating utak at magpakabusy para mabigyan ng dahilan ang lahat ng tanong sa isipan natin. Ika nga nila, yan ang DEFENSE MECHANISM ng tao. Ang saya lang eh noh!! Katulad nga ng nabasa ko sa twitter, "Same shit, Different day!" Ang lungkot no?? Kaya siguro dahil dyan, paikot ikot lang ang buhay ng tao. We go around circles repeating the same freakin' cycle over and over again. It's the run and chase game. Buti pa sa pagsusulat, you're free to express your feeling. Minsan madaming nakakarelate sa nararamdaman mo. Alam mong di ka nagiisa sa nararanasan mo, marami kang kadamay. Sarap ng ganun noh? At least yung mga salita alam nila kung saan sila titigil. Syempre, walang iba kundi dun oh, sa tuldok....tuldok....tuldok....

Pero, minsan sa dinami dami ng tuldok sa buhay mo, yung tipong kahit ilang beses ka na nagpaikot ikot sa buhay mo, thinking that somehow besides the feeling of exhaustion.....you learn something and you understand how to handle things better, eh hindi mo parin alam ang gusto mo. Ang gulo ko eh!! Hahaha Eh, paano nga ba malalaman kung ano ba ang taenang gusto mo?? Kasi, kahit ako sa sarili ko naguguluhan ako!! Pasensya ah! Ang gulo kong kausap! Haha! :P Anyway, that's why I came here for. I'm not so sure where this entry is leading to. There are too many floating bubbles in my head waiting to be pop in my head. I've written sooo much. I can't believe so much  has already happened. Life changes too fast before our eyes we barely even notice it. Still, I am lot more thankful for my blessings!! Ngitian lang ang buhay!! FIGHTING!! :))

Tad of RANDOM about the blogger...

Since I have nothing to write I decided in making some RANDOM FACTS about the BLOGGER. Hihihi :))
I'm kinda bored here! 

First, as far as I am concerned, I have been living my life to fullest and I love it!

*I prefer watching movie to reading a book. Yeah! I'm a movie buff. But, wait that principle change lately, coz' when I became hooked on the book I can't stop reading.

Random BLOGGER. :)

*I have a big heart for fashion. I love shoes, bags and clothes.

*Everything around me has to be neat and properly arrange. I'm kinda an OC person but in a good way.

*I prefer dry seasons than the wet ones because I find it hassle for me whenever it rains.

*I take a bath at least two times a day irregardless of the weather coz' I cannot sleep without at least washing up first.

* I want to reinvent myself. I think change is good.

* I love to write, less speak and express myself in thoughts and words.

*There are people always thinks I'm unapproachable and snobbish when they first see me. Because I'm a silent person and I have this kind of persona that I don't talk unless that person talk to me first. If I talked to you first, it means I want to be friends with you but it rarely happens. :p But I hope they change their minds after the times they spent with me.

*I'm not the type who always says "I Love You" to friends or family personally. But, If I say it through text or letters, its true! Of course, I mean it. :)

*I don't mind being with different cliques, I don't limit myself with one group. It's good to chat with different people, it helps me learn and grow as a person.

*I super love sweets!! Chocolates, cakes, candies, ice cream. Name it!! I have a sweet tooth. :))

*I'm not fond of anything made with ube unless it's an ice cream.

*I would love to learn to dance unfortunately dancing does not reciprocate my feeling on it! Hehe :P

*I am a dreamer and believer. I want to do so much in my life, and feel one lifetime isn't enough for all the wonderful things there is to do in this earth.

*I always have this panic button ready to be pressed every single time depending on the situation I was.

*What I am now has been the product of a series of giddy and bittersweet moments of my life.

*Maybe I'm the worst person I know to keep in touch with. Why?? because I'm not fond of attending reunions and parties unless it's with close friends and family. The introvert in me is kicking in. Haha

*I'm a super dog lover. I love dogs! I have a  dog, chi-chi, who is the baby of our family.

*I love beaches and oohhh, the picture of white sand and blue clear water.

*I'm very loyal to my family and friends and would fight if someone done bad to them. I could care less what other people say about me as long as they don't target the people I love!

*I am extreme of personalities. I can be the most bubbly person now and a cross over later. But I do a good job concealing with that matters.

*Those people who know me think I have problem or bad mood when I keep quiet. I don't think silence is a bad thing. Also it helps make things not getting worst.

*I'm not used sleeping alone. I used to share a room with my ever favorite sister.

*I must say I'm more of a daddy's girl even though I have a close bond with both mommy and daddy. 

*I care even when people think I don't.

*I am more a listener than a talker. Like a writer than an actor! But, sometimes I used to give out my opinions. 

*I don't give up easily. But I learned sometimes waiting is a better choice. It helps you grow in ways you never think you would.

*I think the strongest, most important thing in this world is LOVE and TRUST, not money it was people necessity.

*Little things make me happy and when these accumulate they become enormous...and that makes it most special. That's why my friends always told me that I'm "mababaw ang kaligayahan". I appreciate even the smallest thing you do for me. Even just simple "Hi! or Hello!" makes me feel appreciated and I highly value it.

*I'm very easy to please. Little things to some it's nothing, but for me it's SOMETHING. :))

*I'm a sucker of good foods. Good foods gives me an unexplainable happiness.

*I believe in the need for a little bittersweet in life. It's those moments of life that make everything else goes smoothly.

*I'm a fan girl!! That's my favorite role. I love Korean stuffs and dramas, series, movies.

*I know I'm not the most lucky and fortunate of all people, but I know how to live with it and I'm okay!! :)) Fighting!!

*I ultimately adore roses and tulips.

*I admire those guys who have good character and personality, sense of humor and who knows how to handle conversation...but HUMBLE.

*I easily find attractive guys whose kinda bad boy but with soft heart deep inside and humble gentleman type guys with a good taste of fashion.

*I love my family and friends even though sometimes they are usually the source of my problems. I don't exactly know how to quantify HOW and WHY I love them all, just know I do. :)) 

LASTLY, I think this facts about myself is way too much information. So...that's all I have to say. ^.^

Like I said, Randoms. 

My Vision Board

Lately, feeling of blues, weak and lost keeps in my system. But, here I am standing holding tightly to reach my goals and pursue those dreams I believe in. 

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe. 

Life is too short to be anything but HAPPY. Falling down is a part of LIFE. Getting back up is LIVING. 

FIGHTING, Cai! Kaya mo pa yan! 

It is unusual me...PARANOID!

"There is no escape from the necessity to think."

There are things that I would just keep forgetting.

There are things that I should stop thinking and worrying my ass off too much.

There are things that I need to believe, convince myself everything would be fine and then, I'm just become too pessimistic which I hate.

There are things that are far more important than what I am thinking about.

My mind's preoccupied with a lot of things...Worrying a lot and over thinking! Sheeesshh! :'(

I am trying to get strength. I am trying to take my mind off things. 

So, STUPID MIND, stop worrying, wondering and doubting about things, making yourself confused and lost! Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned but just how it's meant to be. STOP BEING PARANOID. 

"Trust, Have Faith!"

Date a girl who reads...or writes

P.S This article is not mine. Too good not to share! 

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You'll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. Shes's the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That's the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow. 

She's the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non - dairy creamer is floating on top because she's kind of engrossed already. Lost in the world of the author's making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book. 

Buy her another cup of coffee. 

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce's Ulysses she's just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It's easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she's going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow. 

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world. 

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always lead up to climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two. 

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series. 

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She'll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she's sick. Over Skype. 

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn't burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you're better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. 

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

--Rosemary Urquico